No Less of a Woman

What kind of a woman am I, if I qualify? Accordingly, at this age, 35 (I am not going to even bother to hide it!), I should be dressed in high heels, off the red carpet dresses, my face should be caked with make-up and I should – SHOULD accessorize myself because I am beyond the age where people think of me as ‘youthful’ when I dash out of the door in the clumsily ironed blouse and jeans.

And oh….jeans. How can I ever forget this? I should be stoned to death if caught wearing jeans. I should be more aware of how I look now, especially since age is catching up. I should try my darnest to hide reality for what it is because people have eyes, they have minds (and mouth)…and they’ll talk. But here’s where the problem is – except for times when it is required of me to wear a dress, I would rather put my entire foot into the blender than wear a high heels and ten-inches of makeup just because people judge me from what I wear.

It’s simple, really. At this age, women are often judged based on the way they look and the judgment usually revolves around how successful you are in your life. The dressier you are, the more successful and respectable you are. It doesn’t help matters any when beauty and fashion is the staple diet for everyone who appreciates herself as a woman.

Age talks and this is a fact of life, and it should never be an issue. Women should never be pressured into trying to look younger, behave in a more perceptively successful manner than they would like to be.

The wrinkles around your eyes denote how many times they’ve smiled throughout your life as a woman – is there shame in that? The web of stretch marks on your belly evidence of your contribution to the society and are what I call ‘love marks’ to your children – is there shame in that? The more comfortable you feel in your own skin signifies how confident you are about YOURSELF and not how others perceive you to be – and is there shame in that as well?

Sadly, I see many women succumbing to this – to some, it’s the way they like it…that’s fine. To others, they’re probably forced to look a particular way for fear of being rejected by partner, husband, friends or society. In order to blend in with the society, these women need thick makeup to hide those unsightly wrinkles and also starve themselves sick in order to look like a stick bug.

Let’s not forget, women my age also need to have immaculately colored, straightened, highlighted and re-bonded hair so that her hair does not end up looking like a pigeon nest. Oh, women my age also need to have those strappy heels (if you’re caught with Crocs, hit yourself over the head with the nearest encyclopedia), preferably open-toe ones.

To the society, I am very sorry to express my disappointment with myself….I do none of the above, don’t intend to and also don’t like myself when I have to. I’d rather strut around as I like and jeans, for your information, is my bosom (not literally speaking, of course) buddy. I don’t usually leave home without it. As for makeup, I love my skin too much to suffocate it everyday…if I had a choice, I would do with minimum make-up….even when I head out partying with the other guys.

I know, some guys are probably saying ‘urgh…what a hag!’ but you know what? I don’t have to care because the person whom I love the most is me. It’s my own happiness that is of utmost importance.

So, if you don’t like a thirty-something woman who does not have ten-inches of makeup on and not dressed in that sweet lil’ size 2 number, look away. I think I’ve done enough of all that when I was twenty-something….now, it’s time to be just….ME.

I am no less important without all of the above.

P.S. I know of many friends who love – and I mean LOVE to dress up. There’s nothing wrong with that. The same way that there is nothing wrong with NOT LOVING it. Just don’t judge people like me in a negative light just because we don’t like to.