Verbal bullying feeds off of reactions. The more that the receiver reacts, the more that the bully enjoys the taunting. The bully feeds off the pain of others. Eventually, he/she steps it up into more physical abuse.
One can “tough out” the taunts, which sometimes leads to a physical altercation. Or one can provide witty remarks which might embarrass the taunter and lead to a physical beating.
I had the privilege of learning about how to handle bullying taunts with anti-bully expert, Izzy Kalman. Izzy talked me through a typical scenario where I played the bad guy and began to taunt him. The conversation went something like this:
Me: Hey wimp. How come you can’t make the hockey team?
Izzy: Just leave me alone! Stop bothering me!
Me: Ah, you can’t cut it. What a weakling.
Izzy: You watch out! Or else!
Me: Or else what?
Then Izzy asked me who looked the most ridiculous? Well, I admitted that he was getting upset and agitated and to an onlooker, the bullied person looked like an immature idiot and the bully was in control.
So, we did it again. Same roles.
Me: Hey wimp. How come you can’t make the hockey team?
Izzy: You guys are amazing athletes. I admire that.
Me: You trying to be smart? You can’t cut it. Weakling.
Izzy: I never put in the time to play hockey like you did. It shows dedication.
Me: Well… ???
This time, I felt like an idiot. Onlookers would see a bully like this as an idiot with no reason to bother someone else. “The trick,” Izzy explained. “Is to stay calm regardless and then to maintain the same kind of responses every time. This may take several months.”
In my own experiences, this kind of clever response does not usually escalate into an argument. But, when you are dealing with a real dumb type of bully, you have to be ready for the shove, getting personal items knocked around or a fight. In which case, the previous lessons on strength and martial arts will have to be used. Just let witnessed know who started it.
Note: I did sucker punch a couple of guys in my early years. One was from being made fun of because of my bucked teeth and another was a guy who kicked me during a volley ball game. They survived and left me alone. I have to admit, it kept the other bullies at bay for awhile anyway.
